Category: Joke Board
Woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. The boyfriend agrees.
The bartender brings the drink and puts a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice on the bar. He puts the salt on his tongue... salty but okay. He drinks the shot of Baileys and holds it in his mouth... smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks, "this is okay." Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.
In one second the sharp lime taste hits... At two seconds the Baileys curdles... At three seconds the salty, curdled taste and mucous-like consistency hits... At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot. This triggers his gag reflex but, being manly and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.
When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend and says, "Jesus! What do you call that drink?"
She smiles widely at him and says, "Blow Job Revenge."
hehehehehehehehehhehehe!
Lol oh my!
A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for ten shots. The bartender asks whether she wants one at a time or all ten in a row. She wants them all at once, so the bartender lines up ten shot glasses and pours.
The woman downs all ten shots, one after the other.
The bartender says, "Ten shots in a row is pretty unusual. Is this a special occasion?"
The woman says, "Yes, my first blow job."
The bartender smiles and says, "That's great! Let me give you one more shot on the house!"
The woman shakes her head. "No, if the first ten didn't get the taste out of my mouth, one more won't make a difference!"
Grin. Okay, okay ladies. hahaha.
This joke I got from a lady. **sigh**
I could turn this in to a conversation about water, and eating sweet things, but...
Grin.
*smirk*
Hahaha.
All right, this has been hijacked, so I'll add a blowjob joke of my own.
A policeman patrolling the neighborhood park saw a guy standing near a tree, spitting and saying, "That motherfucker sure can drive!"
"Sir," said the cop, "You can't do that here. There's kids playing over there on the playground."
The man turned to the cop and said:
"Well, I hitched a ride on the freeway. The driver took the tunnel exit, and coming down the hill lost control. He was weaving all over the place, looked like his brakes wouldn't work at all either. In desperation, I said, "If you can get us out of here alive, I'll give you a blowjob." He suddenly slowed, and we got out of there." The man spit on the ground. "Yeah, that motherfucker sure could drive!"
This is best told live in a bar though. I've never written it before.